Random (And Long-winded) Rant

The Excalibur (aka. my home for three nights)

My big plan upon departing the hospital in Nephi, UT was to make the most of a less than an ideal situation. As such, I figured I’d take a few days before officially (and prematurely) ending my trip and enjoy some of the features Las Vegas has to offer. Sure, I have little-to-NO luck when it comes to cards but I was in more than a bit of bummed out mood and needed a distraction or 21. Plus, there are other things to do in Vegas. In hindsight, had I known I was going to feel so lethargic pretty much the entire time, I would’ve booked an earlier flight. But I didn’t. It continues to be unseasonably hot outside (i.e. it was 36°C at 10:30 last night) and I find myself spending the bulk of my time hanging out in my room in The Excalibur Hotel and Casino. I MAY be more than a bit bored. As such, my mind is stewing. About what you may ask? (Yes, I know … you probably didn’t ask because you know I’ll answer! Well, I’m answering regardless.)

When I booked my accommodation here in Vegas I was introduced to the (Sarcasm Alert) wonderful world of resort fees. It’s been a while since my last trip to Vegas so I don’t know if I had forgotten about them or never been faced with them before. I can’t help but think I’d remember such a thing.

NOT my home for three nights

Either way, for those that don’t know, resort fees are an added fee over and above the room charge. And they aren’t included (and are frequently hidden) when you book through many online channels. What do these fees cover? Well, in the case of The Excalibur (and most other casinos seem to follow the same template), resort fees include “Property-wide high speed internet access (public spaces and in-room), unlimited local and toll free calls, airline boarding pass printing and fitness center access for guests 18+.” All for just $35/night. There is SO much wrong with this I don’t even know where to begin. Well, let’s start at the very beginning (a very good place to start).

1. Property-wide high speed internet access: I haven’t done a speed test to see what they consider “high speed” because, well … I suspect I’ll be sorely disappointed. Ok, fine … I’ll do a speed test. Standby … Ok, test complete. Upload and download speeds clocked in at about 9.5 Mbps each. Certainly not lightning fast but more than adequate – especially on the upload side. So, as part of my $35/night I’m getting “high speed” internet. There’s just one problem. Once I got to my room to connect to said WiFi source I discovered that it’s an open network. No password required. Meaning anyone (guest or not) can use this internet access. For free. Hmmmmm.

2. Unlimited local and toll free calls: Admittedly, it’s pretty ballsy to offer free “toll-free” calls. And in a world where the vast majority of people have a cell phone, well … this isn’t much of a perk. And certainly can’t possibly make up much of the $35/night. Then again, maybe they recently had a bunch of new landlines installed (Sarcasm Alert redux).

3. Airline boarding pass printing: This one I find particularly amusing because it can only be taken advantage of once since boarding passes are only available 24 hours before a flight. And yet it’s part of the $35/night fee. Part of me wants to print my boarding pass 1,000 times just to get my money’s worth. Of course, that’s not environmentally friendly. Oh, this would probably be a good time to remind the inventor of resort fees that many boarding passes are now available through cell phones – you know, the devices people use to make local and toll-free calls.

4. Fitness Centre Access: Ok, this is the only “feature” that actually offers something. Of course, it’s not something I WANT or will actually use. And I suspect that’s the case with a vast majority of their clientele.

Bottom line, I really believe the resort fees are a shameless and cowardly cash grab. I say “cowardly” because of the lack of transparency that is often found with them. When I was scouring the internet for a place to stay, I would say about half the places I looked at made no mention of said fees. Or did so in small print. When I was checking in, I overheard the conversation of the people checking in beside me as they were being made aware of this “unexpected” balance owing they were facing. They didn’t seem pleased.

Not that anyone cares, but I really think it should be illegal to price things in such a way. I mean, when you advertise a room at $WHATEVER/night but to actually stay in that room REALLY costs an additional $30+/night, well … I think that’s criminal. Airlines used to play that game for the longest time with $20 flights that would cost $250 after fees. Fortunately, those days are over. Of course, they’ve since found other ways to add other fees but that’s a rant for another day.

For what it’s worth, I think there COULD be some useful things that could be included in resort fees – not that these things would actually justify the fees or how they’re added after the fact but at least they’d be useful things (to me, anyway):

  • Power bars: No, not the food. But in today’s world of increased personal electronics, I find the lack of available power outlets in hotels to be lacking. This isn’t really any fault of the hotel as most were built long before people needed to charge 27 devices every day. However, those days are long gone. So, why not have power bars available in the room. Now you may be thinking, “But Mark, people would steal them!” Yes, I’m sure people could. And some would. But probably not very many. Oh, and isn’t that the very reason my credit card was charged a security deposit of an extra $150? Problem solved.
  • Sunscreen: I mean, they’re quick to provide soaps and other lotions. Why not sunscreen? Las Vegas IS in a desert after all.
  • Coffee Maker: I don’t drink (or remotely like) coffee but how is it that the cheapest of motels (of which I’ve stayed in a few) typically have these conveniences but the pricier places don’t? I know, I know … as my former employer would frequently remind me, “It’s a profit thing.”

I’m sure there are other even MORE useful things that could be included in resort fees … actually, I’m not sure of that at all. And the suggestions above are really just me grasping for ideas. Just add the $30+/night to the price of the room and be done with it.

Or not.

Ok, thus ends the rant. My apologies for the outburst – it’s been a long couple of days. Maybe I’ll go play some Blackjack to take my mind off unimportant rantable (not a word) things.

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Mission: Failed

Emergency room at Central Valley Medical Center

In a break from my usual blog updating protocol, my next few updates won’t be posted chronologically. Well, they’ll APPEAR chronologically when I’m all caught up again but I’ll be posting in the order of relevance. As such, posts covering my trip to India and the days surrounding it will be put on the back burner as I try to update the current situation. As for the current situation, well … it is with great disappointment that I declare my trip to the Grand Canyon to be officially cut short.

I’ll add more details in my next update (which will appear under this one … eventually) but, as those who follow my Instagram account already know, on Sunday I was diagnosed with Rhabdomyolysis and on Monday morning it was recommended that I forego the rest of my journey. From there it was a bit of a whirlwind series of events.

Essentially, it went something like this: Build bike box. Pack up bike. Pack up gear. Book shuttle to Las Vegas. Book accommodation in Las Vegas. Book flight from Las Vegas to Toronto.

At 9:00 AM I was being told my trip was over. At 2:00 PM I was on a shuttle heading to Las Vegas to catch a flight back to Toronto. And that’s where I am now – Las Vegas, not Toronto. Specifically, I’m at the Excalibur Hotel & Casino. I’m here until Thursday night in case anyone wants to visit. Of course, I just heard about Hurricane Dorian (I’ve been out of touch for a bit) and my flight back to Toronto makes a stop in Charlotte, NC. So, who knows what will happen with my flights.

Anyway, I’m sorry to disappoint my eight loyal followers. I apologize for having to abandon the journey – especially when we were so close to the end. Grrrrr.

It’s kind of funny, I remember when I was in my youth and how stiff and sore I would sometimes get after playing a game of football or whatever activity that I might be participating at any given time. My mom used to tease me as I slowly and painfully hobbled my way around the house. At that time I remember saying, “Someday my body is really going to rebel against me”. Well, it looks like that day has come.

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The Beginning. And The End.

Murray, UT to Nephi, UT

Warning: If you’re not sitting comfortably, you might want to do something about that before reading any further – this is likely to be a long update.

After a 17-day pedalling hiatus in Philadelphia and India, it was time to get back on the bike and close the gap between me and the Grand Canyon – a gap which was now less than 650 km (620 km, to be specific). If all went well, it would be less than 550 km by day’s end. Spoiler Alert: It was in fact much less than 550 km by day’s end … but all did not go well.

Photo with Joe and Christy, check!

I was a bit sluggish (perhaps even a bit “off”) when I first arose this morning but didn’t make too much (or anything) of it. I figured it would pass. So, I finished gathering my gear and lugging it out to my bike in preparation for my departure. Joe and Christy were once again very generous in providing breakfast provisions to fuel my ride. It really has been great (and fortuitous) that I got to meet and spend time with them.

After a quick photo with my hosts (and new friends), I was on my way. The goal for the day was Elberta, a small town … actually, technically it’s not even a town – apparently it’s a “census-designated place” (CDP), I didn’t even know that was a thing! Anyway, Elberta is about 90 km south of where I was starting (i.e., Murray, UT) so it seemed like a natural place to stop. Well, except for the complete lack of services in the CDP of 256 people (as of 2010). Despite the lack of services, the map indicated there was an LDS church in Elberta and I figured/hoped I could do some wild camping near there.

Yesterday the LRT aided my progress. Today, it hindered it. But only momentarily.

The first 30 km of my ride was on the nicely paved Jordan River Parkway Trail which took me as far as Highway 68 near Bluffdale. From there I continued south on the highway for another 15 km or so before I had to part ways with the highway because of a “Bicycle Detour”. I’d never seen such a sign before but when I looked ahead, the sign made sense. Somewhat. The shoulder on which I had been riding was about to vanish due to construction that was now visible a few hundred metres ahead. I suspected I could’ve successfully manoeuvred my way through said construction but since the signs were clearly instructions for cyclists, I figured such a manoeuvre would’ve been frowned upon. So, I took the detour.

Bicycle detour

Fortunately, the detour didn’t add TOO much distance to my ride – only a few kilometres – but there ended up being a detour within the detour. As I followed the road towards Lehi City, I could see the flashing lights of emergency crews up ahead. As I got closer, there were police vehicles serving as road blocks. However, given the lack of an actual police officer in said vehicles, the limited auxiliary roads, and my not really knowing where I was going, I pedalled through said road block in the hopes that someone could direct me to a new alternate route. As I neared a bevy of officers, one approached me and very sternly said, “Hey, you can’t be here.” I say he said this sternly (which he did) but he actually seemed more shaken up than stern. The reason was pretty obvious. About 150 metres ahead, paramedics were tending to someone in the middle of the road. It was clearly a cyclist and, even though I didn’t look closely (I didn’t need to see details), it was clear that it was a pretty serious situation. I explained that I was simply following the “Bicycle Detour” signs on the highway at which point the sternness diminished and I was given a new course to follow. I did. Side note: It was about 15 minutes later that I saw an air ambulance heading towards the scene.

Looking ahead

I made my way back to the highway where I was now about 40 km from Elberta. I should probably mention at this point that, despite it being September, Utah was going through another heat wave. A record-setting heat wave. While temperatures in this area at this time of year are typically mid/upper-20s (low 80s °F), today was in the mid/upper 30s range (upper 90s °F). That said, it was very much a dry heat. Side note: I’ve never given much credence to the disclaimer about dry heat – I mean, dry or humid, 38°C is hot! However, growing up in southwestern Ontario’s humid summers, I didn’t have much experience with actual dry heat. I can know say that it’s definitely different. Yeah, I know … I’m not very bright sometimes.

The lack of humidity really made the heat less noticeable. The headwind which the daily forecast had led me to expect didn’t in fact materialize and the wind wasn’t much of a factor – if anything there was a bit of a tailwind again. This also made the heat less noticeable. And so, I happily pedalled along. I wasn’t even sweating. Or it didn’t seem like I was. Either way, I also wasn’t drinking as much as I should have been. And still I pedalled on.

I was about 10 km from Elberta when I started to fade a bit. My legs were getting tired and my energy was simply getting low. I attributed it to this being my first day back on the road in 17 days. Attributions aside, I should’ve known better. However, on all of my cycling tours I’ve always been a believer that “you can always do ten more kilometres”. Of course, that only applies once per day but since I was only 10 km from Elberta I figured I’d be ok.

What I saw …

I did in fact make it to Elberta but I was definitely feeling the effects of the day. The last 10 km were a bit rough. However, there was a pavilion and a water spigot across the parking lot of the LDS church I had targeted as a potential wild camping spot, so things were looking promising. The same could not be said for how I was feeling.

I was pretty drained as I leaned my bike up against one of the pavilion covered picnic tables and promptly made my way to the water spigot for a drink and, well … a dousing of my head to cool off. It was becoming clear that I had really underestimated the heat of the day. With my energy level pretty low (Gross Understatement Alert) and my body feeling more than a little warm, I laid down on the concrete floor of the pavilion to cool off and have a quick power nap.

Said “quick power nap” ended up being a 90-minute sleep on my concrete bed. And when I woke I really wasn’t feeling any better. In fact, I felt worse. This was a problem. I proceeded to will myself upright and headed over to my bike for some sustenance other than water, specifically, some fruit and a couple of peanut butter slathered bagels. The food certainly helped but I knew I wasn’t in an ideal situation. For a few reasons. Obviously, I wasn’t feeling well. And my currently location was lacking in any sort of facilities. Well … there were washrooms beside the pavilion but, sadly, they were locked. I don’t know why. But I did know that I needed a plan.

… vs how I felt!

Essentially, I had two options. Neither particularly good. The obvious option was to wild camp at the pavilion to get some rest and start my recovery from the rough day. However, the way I was feeling was VERY reminiscent of my dehydration experience in Halifax back in 2014. As such, I wasn’t entirely optimistic that I’d be feeling a whole lot better in the morning. The other option was to continue to the next town which actually had a plethora of services (relatively speaking) including motels. The problem with that plan was that the next town (Nephi) was another 40 km away. Considering I had already used up my “you can always do ten more kilometres” in getting to Elberta, I knew it would be a tough ride and it would likely push me over the edge physically.

It was essentially a lose-lose scenario. It was also nearing 4:30 PM so a decision had to be made sooner rather than later. I opted to get back on the bike and head to Nephi. Based on my aforementioned Halifax experience, I figured there was a decent chance I would actually feel worse in the morning – regardless of where I was. If that played out, then I really would’ve been stranded in Elberta in the morning. If I could get to Nephi at least I would have access to essential services even if it meant more punishment to my body.

Whether it was will power, the not-so-brief nap, the peanut butter bagels pumping through my body, or a combination thereof, I convinced myself that I could pedal for another three hours. Side note: Typically I could do 40 km in two hours but clearly this was not a typical situation.

Not a lot of services in this part of Utah

The next 30 km actually went surprisingly well – again, relatively speaking. I certainly wasn’t setting any speed records but I was steadily moving along. The end of my day was in sight. The final ten kilometres weren’t as kind. Almost as if mocking my “you can always do ten more kilometres” mantra, my energy level completely dropped during those final ten kilometres. Without any exaggeration, I was willing myself through each of those last kilometres. In actual fact, I couldn’t think about doing 10 km. I started thinking of it as 1 km, 10 times. The mind works in funny ways sometimes.

My new goal for the day was the Economy Inn in Nephi and I’m not sure if I’ve ever been more relieved to arrive at a motel. On the upside, I had arrived before dark. On the downside, I was spent. When I arrived in my room, I leaned my bike up against the wall and promptly laid down across the bottom of the bed. That’s as far as I made it. And that’s where the bulk of my night was spent. I woke a few times through the night but didn’t have the energy to properly crawl into bed. Well, not until about 3:00 AM at which point my relocation to under the covers wasn’t due to new found energy but motivated by the chills I was now experiencing. It was clear I wasn’t going to be doing any cycling in the morning.

Not surprisingly, I felt terrible in the morning. The alternating chills and sweats that I experienced throughout the night had been joined by a not-at-all-insignificant headache. It was going to be a long day.

The long day was mostly spent in bed, drifting in and out of sleep. In those in-between times, I did my best to consume liquids (including some rehydration salts that I had with me) but the chills, sweats, headache and lack of energy, were clearly very much committed to sticking around. Around 6:00 PM, I mustered up the energy to stagger across the street to the convenience store in the hopes of getting some electrolyte filled beverages and some fruit. It was a successful endeavour – but I was still back in bed about 30 minutes later.

I’m not sure exactly when I thought that actual medical attention might be in order but it was sometime through the night. I’m certainly not one to readily seek out such attention but something told me this situation was a bit more serious than I wanted to admit. With the undesired prospect of heading to a hospital in the morning, I did my best to will myself back to health before then. I was unsuccessful.

When I woke in the morning, there was definitely an improvement in regards to the chills and fever but the headache still remained. Oh, and did I mention the light-headedness? Yeah, I think that’s what finally convinced me that a more official diagnosis was in order.

Given my recent experiences with Uber in India, I figured that might be the best way to get to the Central Valley Medical Center which was only a couple of kilometres away. That planned proved to be a bust when I discovered there was no Uber (or other taxi-like services) in Nephi. With my options limited, I decided to go with what got me this far. I unloaded my bike and pedalled to the hospital.

With my hospital experience already somewhat documented, I think that pretty much gets us caught up on the details of what would end up being my last days on the road for this trip. Definitely not the finale I was hoping for.

My room – not at the Economy Inn

Although, I should mention that everyone at Central Valley Medical Center was great. From the moment I arrived to the moment I was discharged. They even helped arrange my shuttle transportation to Las Vegas, helped me build a box for my bike to put on said shuttle to Las Vegas, and even drove me from the hospital back to the Economy Inn to pick up the rest of my gear before taking me to the shuttle pickup point.

Today’s totals:
Distance: 133.13 km
Ride time: 6:32:07
Average speed: 20.37 km/h
Maximum speed: 52.03 km/h

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Back Where I Belong

Now that’s more like it!

My flight to Salt Lake City has me once again in my rightful place in Economy Class and is serving as a good transition back into my reality. Sure, the seats are significantly more “cozy” and the food significantly less swanky (actually, there is NO food other than snacks) than First Class but I’m still able get some work done or, more accurately, able to type up a blog update or two. At this moment, we’re flying over Iowa, about 1,600 km (1,000 miles) from Salt Lake City so I still have a couple of hours to edit some photos too.

Fast-forward a couple of hours and I once again found myself back at the airport in Salt Lake City. From there I had a completely effortless experience with Utah public transit (which included two LRTs and one bus) as I made my way back to Joe and Christy’s place. All that was left to do was to get things ready for the resumption of my pedalling to the Grand Canyon.

NOT jerks at Jerks Bike Shop

Part of the those preparations included a bit of bike maintenance – and not the sort that I was in a position to do myself. I needed a bike shop. Fortunately, Christy was able to point me in the direction of Jerks Bike Shop. And, as suspected, the people there were FAR from being jerks. They were great.

After more than 5,000 km (3,000 miles), my bike had performed quite admirably. The tires were still good. Brakes were squealing a bit but still functioning. Gears weren’t causing me any problems. However, wear and tear was taking its toll on the chain and, based on my chain measurement tool, it was looking like a new chain was probably needed before hitting the road again. The good folks at Jerks very much confirmed that assessment. In actual fact, apparently the chain should’ve been replaced sooner. Oh well, no harm no foul.

On the upside, despite the excess stretching of my chain, it was deemed that I didn’t need a new cassette. I was more than happy with that assessment as it saved me a few bucks. That said, there was a bit of hiccup once the chain was replaced – the highest gear (smallest cassette ring) was not at all happy with the new chain. This wasn’t entirely surprising since it was probably the gear that got the most use. Once again, the good folks at Jerks proved their non-jerk status. Rather than replace the entire cassette, they found a replacement ring that could be used. A few adjustments later and everything was working smoothly. They definitely know their stuff! And, despite fully cleaning the cassette and doing the extra work to replace the lowest gear, they didn’t charge me any extra. I was VERY appreciative. Plus, they even offered to give me a Jerks Bike Shop t-shirt to wear in a photo once I get to the Grand Canyon. Unfortunately, they only had XL shirts left so that plan kind of fizzled. Again, I appreciated the gesture. So much so that I planned to Photoshop their logo onto a photo once I reach said canyon.

With my bike once again road-worthy, I made a quick stop to a grocery store to replenish my food supplies. The only downside from that detour was I lost my reusable grocery bag somewhere along the way. Not a big deal but it was a GREAT bag – very compact and strong. I had bought it from a Co-op grocery store in Scotland so it was also sort of a souvenir from my that tour. That said, I’m not about to make a special trip to Scotland to replace the bag – although, it’s as good of a reason as any to return to Scotland!

My trip to India in boarding passes

Anyway, I’m now back at Joe and Christy’s place making final preparations for tomorrow’s ride resumption. Grand Canyon here I come.

India totals:
Flights: 10
First Class flights: 1
Business Class flights; 3
Premium Economy flights: 1
Economy Class flights: 5
Tour Guides: 3
Ubers: Many
Auto Rickshaws: 0

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First Class

Having spent the day (Monday) touring Delhi, our travel day back to Philadelphia was destined to be a long one as our flight didn’t depart until about 1:00 AM on Tuesday. The upside was that we would once again be flying in comfort at the front of the plane. The VERY front.

For those that happen to follow my somewhat rare Instagram posts, you already know that the aforementioned journey back to Philadelphia included a not-so-short stint in First Class – specifically, from Heathrow to Philadelphia. For those that DON’T follow my somewhat rare Instagram posts, my journey back to Philadelphia included a not-so-short stint in First Class – specifically from Heathrow to Philadelphia.

Yes, those are MY feet in First Class

As for how I ended up in First Class, well … as mentioned a few posts ago, Gage and I were piggybacking on Jack’s business trip. Officially, Jack was in First Class while Gage and I were slumming it in Business Class. However, for the return portion of the flight, Gage and Jack swapped seats for the first flight while I was the beneficiary of the swapped seats for the second flight. Admittedly, I felt more than a little guilty taking Jack’s (or Gage’s) First Class seat; however, since it gave Gage and Jack the opportunity to actually sit together in Business Class it worked out well for all. That said, I still felt a bit guilty.

Guilt aside, my First Class experience was, well … first class. Since I was caught up on all my video projects I was able to just relax and enjoy all the perks that came with sitting so close to the front of the plane. From the moment I showed my (i.e., Jack’s) boarding pass, I received VERY attentive service – although, I’m actually a bit uncomfortable being catered to in such a fashion. While Business Class was great, First Class simply upped the ante that much more. The toiletry pouch was a bit fancier – as were the contents within. The menu was a bit on the ridiculous side – especially for someone who has spent the bulk of the past two months cooking pasta and $0.99 powdered sauce over an alcohol stove. The entertainment screens were larger. The seating pods (and subsequent bed) were just that much roomier. They even provided pyjamas. Admittedly, I had a hard time not laughing when offered those.

With no editing needing to be done, I was able to fully enjoy the first class experience. I ate a bit. Drank a bit. Ate a bit more. Watched a couple of movies including “Can You Ever Forgive Me?” which was really good. And, of course, I had to take a nap. I mean, for research purposes. After all, I had to see if the First Class beds were any bigger than those in Business Class. Spoiler Alert: They are. Not significantly but there was enough extra length that I could REALLY stretch out. I’m certainly not complaining about the beds in Business Class but I’m pretty much the maximum height (6 feet) to fit fully stretched out on them. In First Class, I had a bit of room to spare.

Not surprisingly, the seven hour flight from Heathrow to Philadelphia passed incredibly quickly. And comfortably. I can say with great certainty that when we landed at PHL it was the first time I was a LITTLE disappointed to be in Philadelphia. On the upside, it was sunny. Isn’t it always?

Richard E. Grant (as seen hours earlier in Can You Ever Forgive Me?).

The disappointment resulting from the conclusion of my first (and likely only) First Class experience was offset by a fun coincidence as I went through US Customs. As mentioned previously, one of my in-flight activities was watching the movie “Can You Ever Forgive Me?”. I mentioned that mostly as a precursor to this event. As it happens, Richard E. Grant (one of the stars of said movie) was standing directly in front of me as we waited to clear Customs. It was kind of hard to notice at first since I was mostly just seeing the back of his head. However, as he was speaking with the US Customs agent it became more clear. I MAY have even taken a covert (and not remotely level) photo of the occasion. Sure, I could’ve simply asked him as we waited in line, but … well … that’s really not my way.

Anyway, as coincidences go, I thought that was a pretty good one.

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